Ella is Ten Months Old

Ella weighs: 14lbs 3oz

Ella measures: 25.3 inches

Milestones this month:
-getting up on her toes and knees to propel forward
-touching her toes while sitting
-looking for objects then they drop

Ella loves: 
-laughing deliriously as she avoids bedtime (mom and dad allow it due to her cuteness)
-reaching for mommy's plate at dinner
-viewing the world from all different angles, up high in airplane is her favorite
-exploring textures: carpet, dad's beard, velcro, any clothing mom is wearing
-looking outside
-babbling to the "other baby" in the mirror
-smiling at mommy and daddy with lips tightly sealed as they try to feed her veggies

Health and Doctors: 
Ella received her nine-months immunizations and her third Synagis shot. We visited the cardiologist. The doctor told us that her ASD has completely closed and that the pulmonary stenosis seems to be growing as she grows. This is good news because it means that there is currently no need for any kind of procedure. She will continue to monitor. We go back again in 4-6 months. 

What we have been up to: 

Ella's curiosity and self-awareness are quickly increasing. Each new day brings a new discovery. The belly scooting from last month has evolved into a modified crawl. She starts with a plank position followed by a brief moment or two on all fours and then a finale with a huge movement forward. By repeating this pattern, she can cover quite a bit of territory in a short amount of time. She has discovered that there is much to see beyond the perimeter of her play blanket. As her hands hit the wood floor beyond the carpet, she pauses to briefly look towards me. With an ear-to-ear grin stretching across her face it is if she is saying, "Look at me, Mom." 

Crib sleeping is happening. Enough said about that. Mommies and daddies out there... you know... 

The introduction to solids has continued.  Veggies didn't seem to please her, so we reluctantly moved on. At the moment, her preferred solid of choice is bananas. Once we have introduced a few more she prefers, the combinations will start. Each night at dinner she reaches for whatever is on my plate. Last night, she went as far as grabbing the place-mat and pulling the entire thing towards herself. She loves to reach two hands towards my cup and firmly grasps on as she brings it to her mouth for a drink. 

Ella has moved up clothing sizes! She is now in six months clothes. I had to do my first official reorganization of her dresser drawers. When I held up her preemie and newborn outfits as I packed them away, I stared in amazement. I bought her first pack of size two diapers this month. I smiled as I put her in them because they fit her the same way her pre-preemie diapers fit her, all the way up to her belly button with each tab stretching clear across to the other side. 

We visited some of our NICU nurses this month. I love to watch Ella as she studies them in amazement. As they speak to her, she smiles. I like to think it is her way of saying thank you.  From day one, they encouraged her.  They loved her on the days she was the naughtiest, gently reminding her of her strength. They nudged her towards a world outside of the NICU. I can see it in her eyes. She recognizes them. She is aware of the connection. One day she will call them by name and recount everything she can remember from what her mommy and daddy have told her about her nurses and their role in her journey. 

In Ella's NICU room, I placed a paper on the fridge in her room and surrounded it with photos of our family. It read, "Love defies expectations." It is true. Throughout Ella's journey, love has defied all expectations. Love from her family, her nurses, her doctors, and those she has never met has carried her and continues to carry her forwards. 

Welcome 2017

In 2016, Ella, arrived 16 weeks early. My complications and her birth were completely unexpected. I had been to the doctor the week before with a send-off of, "everything looks okay, see you in a few weeks."  Yet there I was, four days later, admitted to the hospital and told I would have our baby girl by the end of the week. I went in on Monday and had Ella on Friday. Most of those days are a blur, with a few vivid moments forever etched into my memory. One of the most vivid entails a NICU doctor visiting us in our tiny triangle-shaped ante-partum room in labor and delivery to inform us of all that would happen after Ella's arrival.  Close family members and two of my friends surrounded me. We listened to statistic after statistic for a 24-week gestational baby's birth be rattled off.  The odds seemed bleak. While receiving this news, my friend had her hand on my belly, inside Ella was kicking away. Aside from the low percentages, I do not recall the actual statistics. Unfortunately, for others in the room, they recall most of them. What I do recall is my tears and feeling like I had let everyone down. I remember thinking, this is my fault, what did I do wrong? There was one track repeating in my head: this wasn't supposed to happen this way. Friday morning came and I was wheeled off to my c-section. I cried the whole way. I didn't even know what a c-section entailed, let alone birth in general.

Ella arrived on Friday, March 25, at 1:29 pm. Our tiny 1lb .6oz baby announced her arrival with the tiniest cry. Her entrance, announced by her cry, was the first sign of her feisty potential. She wasn't supposed to be using her lungs yet, but guess what, she did. The next month was filled with my c-section recovery and hours in the NICU, trying to gain some sort of understanding. I spent most of that month in shock.  I spent many more dwelling on the past. You know what I am talking about, the what ifs and the should have beens. While slowly moving forward, I constantly tried to problem solve events of the past. I found myself in daily survival mode and constantly uneasy about future events. As the days went by, the feelings slowly faded, still present but more of a murmur than a scream. I began to embrace the journey rather than shy away from it.

2017 has snuck up on me, but I am thrilled that it is here. We are only a few months away from Ella's first birthday. She has reminded me that there is opportunity for growth and success, every minute of every day, even when the "odds" try to paint a different picture.  Ella has reminded me of the power of potential. Ella's journey is a celebration of life. It is an opportunity for me to be there for others and an opportunity to face daily interactions with a growth-mindset. Change is inevitable, but change need not paralyze our mindset for too long. Potential growth surrounds us. Welcome 2017. I am happy you are here.